An odd day

Today is September 17, 2012 CE.

Here in the United States, it is the anniversary of a high point in our history (the signing of our constitution) and a low point in our history (the Battle of Antietam, the bloodiest day of our civil war and in our history to date). It is the anniversary of the Occupy Wall Street demonstrations.

In the Jewish calendar, it is Rosh Hashanah, the new year.

In my life, it is the birthday of two friends.

And today is the day my mom is trying to take my sister to see a doctor in the office of their family practitioner, so that she can have her hand examined, because it is bruised and swollen and she has a broken finger (and is not likely to tolerate a splint). (Many of the doctors in the group are, like us, Jewish, and are out of the office in observance of the holiday.) It has been exactly two weeks since my grandmother died.

Perhaps it’s not a surprise that I feel so overwhelmed and have been fighting off fibro symptoms these last few days (PAIN – headache, muscle aches, vomiting, light sensitivity). One of the things that happens with a lot of people whose siblings have disabilities is that they assume more parental roles – or emotions, at least – and my brain keeps sobbing, “My baby! She has a broken finger!” and freaking out about not being physically present to help ease the strain of grieving for Grandma or helping distract Lily from her current physical pain, or even helping make some space for the holiday amidst all of this. While trying not to forget that the rest of the world exists, and is full of things both good and bad that merit attention.


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